brave like bonifacio
Today marks the 147th birth anniversary of gat Andres.
I usually don't give much importance to holidays like these, except that it gives me a reason to be happy for not having to go to work. But this 30th day of November is a little bit more significant for me, and it merits a blog post.
Here's the story.
Today, I was brave. Brave enough like Andres Bonifacio was, but not in a sulong-mga-kapatid way. But I commend my bravery. For with my decision, I have marked the first step to getting out of the corporate architectural office.
I have just tendered my resignation. And that for me is bravery.
I have mustered enough courage to let go, without hesitation and reserve. Even without a new company to fall back on to. And because of that, I am excited to see what 2011 has in store.
Tendering a resignation sounds more like Jose Rizal, just as his pen was mightier than Bonifacio's bolo, so was the reason he is our national hero, and so is the reason I consider myself my own hero today. I strongly believe I have just saved myself. 'Nuff said.
the picture shows no significance at all, just trying to amuse myself
final dose:
underlying statements, blurting out discreetly.
I usually don't give much importance to holidays like these, except that it gives me a reason to be happy for not having to go to work. But this 30th day of November is a little bit more significant for me, and it merits a blog post.
Here's the story.
Today, I was brave. Brave enough like Andres Bonifacio was, but not in a sulong-mga-kapatid way. But I commend my bravery. For with my decision, I have marked the first step to getting out of the corporate architectural office.
I have just tendered my resignation. And that for me is bravery.
I have mustered enough courage to let go, without hesitation and reserve. Even without a new company to fall back on to. And because of that, I am excited to see what 2011 has in store.
Tendering a resignation sounds more like Jose Rizal, just as his pen was mightier than Bonifacio's bolo, so was the reason he is our national hero, and so is the reason I consider myself my own hero today. I strongly believe I have just saved myself. 'Nuff said.
the picture shows no significance at all, just trying to amuse myself
final dose:
underlying statements, blurting out discreetly.
jobless like toothless
I let go of my safety net. I gave up the one thing that was my constant. It was a tough decision... a lot of tears, a lot of doubts, a lot of what ifs... but I made the decision, and I am living it right now.
Life is funny. It gives you a curve ball when you least expect it. I never expected to get pregnant, but I did, and here I am. I never expected to work in one BPO company for this long, but that's what happened. And then, I never expected to quit while I was ahead... but there you go.
Everyone keeps asking why... everyone keeps saying "Sayang..." the curious thing is, I too felt that it was sayang. I feel that I could have done so much more... become so much more... but hey, life threw me a curve ball, and it may have saved my soul.
I have to come to terms with the fact that my worth was not being recognized anymore. I started out wonderfully, full of zest, full of vigor. Always busy, at the expense of my family. But I was alive. I was doing what I wanted, and was loving every single minute of my job. It wasn't only a job to me then. It became my life. And maybe that's where my mistake lay. That I let my work become who I was.
But that's the only way I know how to survive. Total absorption. Otherwise, I'm disengaged, therefore dead.
All things considered, I hope and pray that I survive. That my soul survives. I've been idle for close to a week now, and it has been... an experience. I am worried about finances, worried about what tomorrow is going to bring... but what I am really scared of is that I find absolutely no reason to go on.
I know I must. And I will. For Angelo. And for his future.
final dose:
I am fat
Life is funny. It gives you a curve ball when you least expect it. I never expected to get pregnant, but I did, and here I am. I never expected to work in one BPO company for this long, but that's what happened. And then, I never expected to quit while I was ahead... but there you go.
Everyone keeps asking why... everyone keeps saying "Sayang..." the curious thing is, I too felt that it was sayang. I feel that I could have done so much more... become so much more... but hey, life threw me a curve ball, and it may have saved my soul.
I have to come to terms with the fact that my worth was not being recognized anymore. I started out wonderfully, full of zest, full of vigor. Always busy, at the expense of my family. But I was alive. I was doing what I wanted, and was loving every single minute of my job. It wasn't only a job to me then. It became my life. And maybe that's where my mistake lay. That I let my work become who I was.
But that's the only way I know how to survive. Total absorption. Otherwise, I'm disengaged, therefore dead.
All things considered, I hope and pray that I survive. That my soul survives. I've been idle for close to a week now, and it has been... an experience. I am worried about finances, worried about what tomorrow is going to bring... but what I am really scared of is that I find absolutely no reason to go on.
I know I must. And I will. For Angelo. And for his future.
final dose:
I am fat
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the daddy
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