not worth it

After handshakes all around and a polite meet and greet, the chat kicked off with me narrating my aunt's speech during our wedding, sharing a revelation of how I have the “gift of gab.” On a Sunday afternoon, I was in the business center of a posh hotel in Cebu Business Park, going through a job interview, which I haven't experienced for almost three years. Sitting in front of me across the table was a man in his late fifties, looking like one of those Makati Business Club members with a semi-bald hairstyle and a moustache to boot. An arm's reach away was an apprentice-looking guy sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. They both looked presentable with their neat long sleeves polo and tie. Tapping my finger on the side of my shiny black leather shoe, I felt the tension inside me finally die down when I was back home with my wife in a little over an hour. I had problems telling her straight about how the whole thing went.

They offered me a relocation package, showed me the figures I will be getting and the benefits and commissions the company is offering. They even boasted about how the company is ranked among the top five in the industry in the Philippines. They gave me the option of starting either in a week’s time or in two weeks. It was a decision I had to make, but not without consulting wifey. I’ve always hated the "what ifs" and regrets. I don't want to work in the imperial capital, much more leaving my wife and my kid behind. Plus the thought of having to cut my hair short and being in fancy corporate attire scares me to death.

A five-digit above-industry compensation is not enough to pay for loneliness and definitely not worth the lost time from my family. The interviewers waited for my feedback, since I had to excuse myself, telling them that I needed to contemplate things together with my wife since I can't be man enough to decide on my own. I feel so gay about not being man enough, but what the heck, I don't care at all. I refused the offer, to make a long story short.

my wifey, my little boy -- priceless

Although it is true that a rare opportunity is offered to you once in a blue-colored moon as Pocahontas may have sung, but wifey really helped me understand that if the opportunity is truly for you, everything shall fall into its proper place in the right time. I just regret the way I answered confidently that I am willing to sacrifice everything, even if in reality, I feel otherwise. I was selling myself to them, and they bought me. I am glad that they offered me the position, but their offer just falls short when weighed against what I already have right now. In the end, it made me realize just how much I truly value my family.

final dose:
my confidence went up a notch after the interview
i think that is the only good thing that came out of it


posted by A.Cortes on 2:28 AM under



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