this summer should be fun

I reminisce about my childhood - of how we painted eggs a day before easter, of the months playing with cousins all day and all night - kite flying, biking, swimming.

It is summer. And the things in my mind that I want to accomplish just keep on adding up. I want to find a new job. I want to construct Angelo's racing car bed. I want to get the plans for our church wedding over and done with. I want to bring wifey and little boy to where doc Tes and her family went. I want to watch ToTo live in Cebu. I want to be at the kokua festival in Hawaii. iwant is like ipod. It's not a need but a want. But a few of these I can let go of without disappointment.

But what I want most in the world is to be a kid again. Carefree.

I recently talked to a man who have always been a constant source of radical views onlife, and he said that if you want to worry less, work your ass off and make sure that by the time you reach thirty five you are already filthy rich, then spend the next thirty years lazing away in luxury. I personally think this to be completely absurd.

Everyday, life is changing for everyone, no matter how small the change may be. I notice the changes in me. Some solely in myself, much in my family and a few in the community. There were things I'd let go of so suddenly when I became a husband, things I let go of gradually when I became a dad. But through all these, I have no regrets. How many more years shall I waste to satisfy the wants for myself, I question; how many years shall I expect to stay selfish for my ego. I can't say I have had much already, but definitely it's more than enough for me.

Now I worry not only for myself, but for my wife, my kid, my family, most importantly.

I had golden years and equally had a share of the dark ages. There was a time when I shared to Allison that my childhood was the best years I remembered and that my adolescence was my darkest past. There was an instance I whispered to Zai Angelo that I will let him experience the same childhood joys I had and keep him away from any trace of my disturbed teenage life.

Past deeds result in time delay. But hope is alive.
Inspirations are fuel. There is the determination to succeed.

I will not reminisce about my childhood anymore, instead, I will look forward to Angelo's - of how he'll get to paint eggs for easter. Of how we will have months playing and learning and bonding. Of how my wife and I will get to raise more children and find joy in them every time. Be kid-like. Pure, innocent.

It is summer. And the thing I wanted that I thought I wouldn't accomplish... I just did.

final dose:
random blah blahs from a new grad.


posted by A.Cortes on 5:40 AM under


dr tes said...

congrats my friend! yano ra kaayong litukon nga "congrats" pero sa way laban-laban, natandug jud ko aning imo post. you earned that diploma and you better trot your ass on the stage, it's not for you, its for your son and wife. you're accomplishment is 10x more their accomplishment. i have to tell a story of my life, i was not able to join my medicine batch on our graduation rites due to my long list of extensions. at that time, it was no big deal to me but later, like 5 years after, i started to wonder what if i was able to join them on that special day? i lost so much by not joining them. i failed to share the laughter and the kantiawan but most of all i disappointed my family. it would have been another plaque on our family, you see, im the first doctor that my family has produced.

toni said...

salamat kaayo sa imong mensahe doc tes. dili ko kabalo og unsa-on pag tubag nimo, pero sa tinud-anay na touch sad ko sa imong gi sulti.
dili na lang ko mo mahay pa og samot ngano wala ko ni paso kay nilabay naman sad ang adlaw. og bisan wala man gani ko maka apil sa unsa man kahang kalipay ang gibati sa mga kauban nakong ni gradwar, lahi man sad akong kalipay pag celebrar uban sa akong asawa og anak.
og sa imong maong storya, pwede nato ma ingon na mao mao ra ang atong determinasyon na makab-ot ang atong gusto. maayo na imo jud gi padayon og nahatagan og kalipay imong pamilya.
ako nang himo-ong sukdanan na ako sab unya ang mahimong unang arkitekto sa among pamilya.

salamat pag usab doctora.

dr tes said...

tinuod jud ka, ton. lahi na atong kalipay karon. mas palabihon na nato atong pamilya kaysa atong kaugalingon. your words above has led me to a conclusion that you are indeed a good father and husband! you're a good man, toni, i really admire you. okey, here's something we have in common too. my husband and i had our church wedding 6 mos after our son was born. he was the one who spent for everything for the wedding. a few of the things that made me believe that i indeed chose a good man for a husband and a daddy for my son. alli is a blessed woman to have you as her husband and your son to have strong father . mabuhay ka!

Miah Laborte said...

it's nice to know that u had a happy childhood... sarap tlga mag reminisce sa mga childhood memories natin hehe.. napaisip tuloy ako, mas enjoy pa yta mga games natin noon kesa sa mga high tech na laruan ng mga bta ngaun... nice blog..


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